


Three's Company

by FairSappho



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: And in love, Everyone loves pete, Fluff, M/M, Peter is crushing, Tsundere, as well as wade, peter tries to court the boxes, the boxes are flattered, white box is tsundere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairSappho/pseuds/FairSappho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter decides that the best way to court Wade is to court his boxes as well. In which Peter is crushing, Wade is oblivious, and the Boxes are falling in love too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who knows man? I hate writing fanfics but this had to be a thing and no one was taking requests. Feel free to rewrite this better if you want, lord knows it pains me to write it myself. Anyways, I thought it'd be cute if Peter starts trying to impress the boxes so that they'd love him too, until Wade and the boxes finally notice. I'll probably finish it up over a few chapters, this won't be long.
> 
> Who's talking:  
> [White Box]  
> (Yellow Box)  
> "Wade or Peter"

**How It Started:**

"Hey Petey, let's go on a date."

  
Peter turned from where he was chained to the wall in the nondescript dungeon where they were being kept.

"SERIOUSLY?"

"Yeah! It'll be fun. Funner than dungeons and torture anyways. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Wait! Dont answer that. I wanna be surprised."

Spiderman let out a long sigh. "I guess I've held out long enough. Sure, Wade."

"Really?!??! YES!"

_[Oh please, not this again. Can't you just give up?]_

**(Petey DOES have a nice butt.)**

_[...That we'll never see. Not that it matters, he's clearly not interested, he's just pitying you. We don't need that.]_

**(PFFBBBBTHHHH.)**

_[Very mature.]_

"Shut up!" Deadpool hit his head against the wall and groaned. He mumbled to himself "I don't CARE if you don't like him, I DO and I'd appreciate some support for once."

"Wait, your boxes don't like me?" Wade turned to Peter, who looked as hurt as he possibly could through a spandex mask.

"No no babyboy, they don't DISLIKE you!" he tried to comfort the vigilante. "They just haven't really warmed up to you yet. Give 'em time!"

_[Not likely. He'll run before we ever get the chance.]_

**(Shhh! You'll ruin our chances at dat ass!)**

"Shut UP white! You don't know that he'll leave. Why do you alw-"

"Wade." The Mercenary turned to look at his friend. "It's fine. I'll just have to charm them like I charmed you."

By the time they broke free from their captors and went out for tacos, Peter was the only one of the four still thinking about that conversation.

\------------------------  
**How it Escalated:**

"Hey Wade." Deadpool turned from his place on the rooftop ledge to see Spiderman holding up two bags of takeout. "You hungry?"

"Baby Boy, you DO care!" Wade pranced over to the young vigilante and swiped the bag out of his hands, pulling him down to sit on the gravel.

Peter scoffed and opened his bag of food. "Well, you paid for dinner last time. Only fair, right?"

_[Wade, at least thank him for the food. Jesus, this is why you have no friends.]_

**(Hey! Spidey's MORE than our friend! We might even get to touch his butt if we play our cards right~)**

"Shut up you guys, I got this." Wade mumbled, and then turned to Spiderman. "Hey, thanks Pete."

Peter had pulled up his mask to his nose to eat, but wasn't eating. Instead he was looking at Wade with a strange, almost expectant expression.

"...What, do I have something on my face?"

_[Oh great, you slob. You haven't even eaten yet.]_

**(Ahh! Spidey's so cute~~ Can we touch his butt yet?)**

"Ah, no... no." Peter shook his head "I just.. is that okay?" he said, gesturing at the food.

Wade stared at Peter in confusion for a moment before looking down into the bag. There seemed to be three seperate meals inside, each of different national origins.

_[Hey, is that Chinese?]_

**(Ooh! Chimichangas! Tacos! Wade, he got us our favorite tacos!)**

_[YOUR favorite, you mean... And mine. Huh.]_

"Aw Petey, this is great! Even the boxes are happy."

Wade munched on his food, oblivious to the pleased blush that spread across his partners face.

"Good."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter go to the movies.  
> [White]  
> (Yellow)  
> "Actual Dialog"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently some people like this. Didn't expect it, but hey I'm not complaining. Have some gay superheros then. Not sure how often I'll update, but It's only gonna be a few more chapters. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

[Why couldn't you dress up a little? Do you want him to see what a slob you are?]

(You should have brought a jacket! Our Petey looks cold...)

Wade shook his head minutely, keeping his eyes on the movie in front of him

"Shut. UP."

Peter turned to Wade, and without taking his eyes off the screen (or his hand off of Wade's sleeve), asked "What are they saying now?"

Wade almost dropped the popcorn. "Huh?"

[...Who? Wait, is he talking about us?]

(Tell him how cute we think he is! We wanna eat him up!)

[Speak for YOURSELF.]

Sometime during Wade's silence, Peter finally looked to Wade.

"You don't have to tell me, I just...do they like the movie?"

(Go on Wade, tell him we like HIM more!)

[What happened to just liking his butt?]

(Shush.)

[Don't shush me! You started it.]

(SHUUUSHH.)

Wade ignored his boxes and grabbed his date's hand.

"Yeah, Petey. The movie's great. Well, Yellow and I are more interested in YOU, but White seems pretty into the sparkly vampire thing."

[THANKS.]

(We're so smoooth~)

Peter let out a breath and snorted softly.

"White's still not thrilled with this, huh?"

"He's getting used to it."

The mercenary turned back to the screen, still not completely believing this conversation was actually happening. How has Peter not run out screaming yet?

Softer, he murmured, "Just gotta make sure you'll stay, you know?"

Suddenly, a warm hand grabbed his chin and pulled him into a fierce (but soft) kiss. When Peter pulled away everything was quiet (including the boxes). Warm brown eyes met his.

"I'm not going anywhere."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter might be late tonight, and White box is tsundere trash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8=======D  
> The end, I think? who knows.

At 11AM, Wade's phone went off.

 

> Baby Boy: Morning, sleepy head! So Jonah's been on my ass all morning, and it looks like I'll be here a little longer than expected tonight. Should I still come over later, or will you be too tired?

Wade rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed to reply.

_[Wait, what?]_

**(Awwww, our poor Petey... Maybe we should pay his boss a little visit, tell him to lay off our baby boy...)**

Through a big yawn, the Merc mumbled "Mhhhnm. Need to sharpen the katanas, then."

 

> Merc W.A. Mouth: You do what you need to do, baby boy. If you're still up for it when you get out, come on over but if you're too tired, it's not a big deal.
> 
> Baby Boy: Hm. Okay, I'll let you know later today.

_[Wait, so is he coming or not?]_

Wade smirked, "You miss him too, huh?"

**(Aaah! White loves him too! White-And-Me-And-Wade-And-Peter-Kissing-In-A-Tree~)**

_[What?!]_

"That sounds kinda gay"

_[Wait no, you dont understand I just wanna know if we're ordering out tonight or what it isn't-]_

**(...Um, It IS gay? We're literally dating a dude. And White and I are boxes and all but the author sort of figured we were guys too, so we're rolling with it.)**

"Sounds fair enough. Is it considered polyamory if two of the partners are figments of one's imagination?"

_[No guys I really dont like him. Not at ALL.]_

**(Liar!)**

"Then I guess it doesn't matter if he comes tonight or not, huh?"

_[Not at all.]_

**(We'll see how long THAT lasts.)**

 

\----------------------

12PM - 1PM : Wade and Yellow watch Gilmore Girls reruns and have a heated debate on whether Rory was better with Dean or Logan. White pointedly ignores them in resentful silence.

2PM: Wade practices juggling his katanas while Yellow poorly sings a bawdy circus theme. White continues to silently ignore them, but is actually imagining Peters butt.

4PM: Wade paints a picture of Peter in nothing but his Spiderman mask and a red and blue thong. Yellow hums Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On," interspersed with the quote "Paint me like one of your french girls!". The hours spent luridly imagining Peter's butt make White acutely aware of the imperfections in Wade's painting. When he explains that the freckle on his left butt cheek is actually two centimeters higher, Wade laughs so hard that he slips in a pool of paint and accidentally impales himself  on one of his katanas. When he finally comes back from being dead an hour later, his first course of action is to laugh even louder while Yellow creates graphic erotic stories between White and Peter. White goes back to ignoring them resentfully.

6PM: White makes passive comments about their dinner plans. He is ignored.

7PM: White asks if anyone has texted them so far. He is ignored again.

8PM: White asks how long Peter generally works in a day. Yellow makes a crude suggestion about what Peter could be doing with them instead. While his boxes argue, Wade texts Peter.

>  
> 
> 8:01 PM, Merc W.A. Mouth: Hey, you still at work?
> 
> 8:03 PM, Baby Boy: Hey! No, I got off like 10 minutes ago. I'm running a quick errand and then I'll be coming by. Is that okay?
> 
> 8:04 PM, Merc W.A. Mouth: THANK GOD.
> 
> 8:05 PM, Baby Boy: .... I know I'm a great conversationalist, but I can't help feeling there's something more to that statement.
> 
> 8:06 PM, Merc W.A. Mouth: White's been pining for you all day. Dude's thirsty as hell. Not that I'D know anything about that, being immune to your charms myself and all. You know.
> 
> 8:09 PM, Baby Boy: White's been asking for me?
> 
> 8:09 PM, Baby Boy: I mean. That's good, right? I mean yeah. I missed him too or whatever
> 
> 8:09 PM, Baby Boy: And yellow too. I missed all of u
> 
> 8:09 PM, Baby Boy: And what do you mean ur immune to my charms

_[-And Why are you SO stupid?]_

**(I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?)**

_[Wait shut up. Did Peter text us back? What'd he say?]_

**(Awwww, Petey missed us! That makes me happier than his butt~)**

> 8:13 PM, Baby Boy: I'm outside

The boxes went uncharacteristically silent as Wade got up to answer the door. He opened the door to see an exhausted Peter leaning against the door frame with a bouquet of flowers.  Upon seeing Wade, he smiled crookedly and held them out.

"Happy one month anniversary, you."

The bouquet was simple: three red roses surrounded by six daisies; three yellow, three white.

_[...OH.]_

**(*Gross sobbing*)**

Wade looked down at the flowers and suddenly it clicked. "Petey.." he said in awe, "You're dating all three of us." A statement, not a question.  
Peter's eyes crinkled around the corners as he smiled warmly "Yeah, of course. I love all of you, Wade. That means them too."

The boxes were silent but their meaning was clear. When Wade pulled off his mask, he was smiling through tears. "And I love you too, Petey. WE love you too."

 


End file.
